If only

What's coming next has already been predetermined by then many things that have happened prior to this moment in time. And yet nothing is certain...

Merry Christmas everyone!!!!!

Public service announcement: dear general public if you're going to make plans with me to blow me off for stupid shit then don't even bother making the plans. I'm sick of it and this summer, I can't wait to get back to Boston so people stop blowing me off for stupid shit.

Things that seem more obvious in hindsight:

Rock climbing with tendenidous is not the best idea.

making brownies at 2am when you are tired is also not the best idea

trying to get a degree in music education and one in music therapy in 4 years from berklee is not possible which it takes most of a year to relize

using the last of the medical tape for tendenidous when your brother had surgury yesterday again not the best idea

trying to type at 230am again not the best idea.

that is all...for now

I GOT A HOUSE!!!!!

that's right but it gets even better! guess what street it's on. You'll never guess...HOOKER STREET it's soooooo funny!!!!!

BUT it still gets EVEN BETTER!!!!! 6 bedroom house 500 bucks rent per person. But that's not even the best part! The basement is the COOLEST THING EVER!!!!! You know why? there is a STAGE in my basement! not only that there is a RECORDING STUDIO in my basement!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so excited for next year and I get my own room again and I get to bring my marimba out and I get to live with my berklee family! I'm so excited you should all come see it!

Ooh, ooh, ooh,
People are talkin', talkin' 'bout people,
I hear them whisper, you won't believe it.
They think we're lovers kept under cover,
I just ignore it but they keep sayin' we...
laugh just a little too loud,
stand just a little too close,
we stare just a little too long.
Maybe they're seein', somethin' we don't darlin'.

Let's give 'em somethin' to talk about
(Somethin' to talk about)
Let's give 'em somethin' to talk about
(Somethin' to talk about)
Let's give 'em somethin' to talk about
How about love?

I feel so foolish, I never noticed
You act so nervous, could you be fallin' for me?
It took the rumor to make me wonder,
Now I'm convinced that I'm goin' under.
Thinkin' 'bout you every day,
dreamin' 'bout you every night.
I'm hopin' that you feel the same way,
Now that we know it, let's really show it darlin'.

Let's give 'em somethin' to talk about
(Somethin' to talk about)
A little mystery to figure out
(Somethin' to talk about)
Let's give 'em somethin' to talk about
How about love?

Let's give 'em somethin' to talk about babe,
A little mystery to figure out.
Let's give 'em somethin' to talk about,
How about love? Ooh...
Listen to 'em baby
(Somethin' to talk about)
A little mystery won't hurt 'em
(Somethin' to talk about)
Let's give 'em somethin' to talk
How about our love, love, love, love
whoowhoo mmmm hey oohh whoowhoo
About love, love, love, love
How about they talk about it? uh huh
Talk about love........

Ok haven't been writing in this much lately but oh well no big deal. I'm back at college now. Not much has been going on lately though tonight was amusing so i thought i'd share.

I went outside after i woke up from a nap at 8pm just to see what was going on because i don't like just sitting around. ran into this guy rob that i've met a few times. He was talking to this guy that i ran into once before that was at that time homeless though i'm not sure if he is anymore and I can't remember his name now. Oh well anyways. He's transgender and a really open honest guy anyways he ended up setting rob and i up on a little date tonight so we went and got coffee for like 3 hours which is random enough to make a good story. But then we went and hung out in his room his roommates are nice and he's in the dorms so that's cool so it's not like i went to some random guys apartment to hang out in the middle of the night (that tends to happen). Anyways his roommates are really cool one of them just makes horrible comebacks all the time with n intention of them being any good. And then the other one was talking about ghosts and stuff so we ended up watching a ton of clips on youtube about them and all this stuff and rob was freaking out and the other guy was telling stories about his friends house which is haunted and then we got on the topic of ufo's because apparently he's seen them too. So both the guys are freaking out (the other roommate went to bed already). I'm sitting there giving them logical ways everything they show could have happened. Then his roommate tries to freak me out saying that 2 people died in our building in a fire. At which point I explained how I have no fear of dying I mean honestly what's the worst that happens? you're dead. Ok. What's the best that happens. You aren't dead. So no big deal. By the time I left rob had said he was jellious of how calm i was being about it all and i think the no fear of dying thing made his roommate be the same way. So it was a very amusing night. Sitting around watching 2 guys freak out about ufo's and ghosts after being set up by a random guy on the street for a date.

Yeah that's about it for that. In other news I'm really excited about my majors I love both my intro classes. I'm not looking forward to my computer apps class but oh well i'll live.

The end.

You and me. We used to be together. Everyday together always. I really feel. That I'm losing my best friend. I can't believe. This could be the end. It looks as though you're letting go. And if it's real. Well I don't want to know. Don't speak. I know just what you're saying. So please stop explaining. Don't tell me cause it hurts. Don't speak. I know what you're thinking. I don't need your reasons. Don't tell me cause it hurts. Our memories. Well, they can be inviting. But some are altogether. Mighty frightening. As we die, both you and I. With my head in my hands. I sit and cry. Don't speak. I know just what you're saying. So please stop explaining. Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no). Don't speak I know what you're thinking. I don't need your reasons. Don't tell me cause it hurts It's all ending. I gotta stop pretending who we are... You and me I can see us dying...are we? Don't speak. I know just what you're saying. So please stop explaining. Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no). Don't speak. I know what you're thinking. I don't need your reasons. Don't tell me cause it hurts. Don't tell me cause it hurts. I know what you're saying. So please stop explaining. Don't don't don't...

So first off I saw Hannah at Kohl's today that was pretty sweet. I also found this amazing dress that is way too short to be a dress therefore I think it should be a shirt that I really want to buy but unfortunatly I want shopping with my mother because then she pays for my clothes and she insists that my boobs are to big for it. Ugh! Hopefully I can go out and buy it before it disappears without her knowing sometime soon.

In other news I can't remember for the life of me what I did last new years and I've been trying to remember. But I really can't I remember 3 years ago. And i know I remembered 2 years ago right before break but I seriously can't remember for the life of me what I did last new years though right now I can't remember what I did the year before either but that is besides the point. So if anyone knows what I did last new years please enlighten me because I really want to know. Yeah I know that sounds retarded but it's not. So yes tell me! Thank ya!

I'm in the home stretch right now. All my final tests are over, I have one more class to go to, one more project to finish, and one more essay to write for this semester. I'll be back in Colorado in less then 40 hours though I don't want to actually calculate it right now. I had something actually semi important I was going to write here but I don't remember so oh well. I should get back to work anyways it's 530 in the morning and I need to finish this project and write at least 2 pages in my essay before I can go to bed. But man am I glad I don't have class until 3 tomorrow (or I guess today).

I'm not ok...Fuck this...












I could use a friend right now...

So that whole WGI post isn't that exciting I have about 4 hours I can practice to learn 11 pages of music for tomorrow night, everyone else has had the music 2 months and final cuts are this weekend so I have 2 practices before the final cut 11 pages of music off the website and I have to have a prepared piece... This sure as hell should be interesting.

I MIGHT GET TO DO WGI AGAIN!!!!!!!

Ok real update on my life. I'm finally back in Colorado! Woohoo!!!

It's Thanksgiving meaning I ate way too much.

I broke my toe last weekend.

I've made a lot of friends at Berklee lately. I love it I've got a family there now. And it's even better because it gives me great reason to avoid my roommates because I am so sick of the barbie dolls.

I guess I really don't have that much to say. It's good to be on break. I'm going to start freaking out about my jury real soon. I get to play in an all marimba concert. I might be playing marimba in a latin rock band. That's it and that's not even all new.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!!!!

It's been a while since I updated this. Right now I'm in Georgia...Though I'm supposed to be in Colorado!!!! Damn it I want to be home! Stupid airports!!!!!
I should fly in tomorrow morning now. But I'm really not happy about this at all right now.

there is a lot more i should say lots of storys and stuff but i'm not up to it right now.

Ok so I was up untill 7 this morning having coughing fits because I'm sick...Had a midterm at 9:10 and woke up at 9:06...Some how made it relativly on time to my test...And then I couldn't find any fucking pancakes for breakfast! That was going to be the highlight of my day...

Oh and there are a shit load of Elementry School kids at the BPC (Berklee Performance Center) they were there at freakin 9 am! I don't understand why!

Game plan for rest of day. Shower, print essay, get coffee, class, sleep...

I don't have the time to update right now but I want to so this will just be really quick.

I'm sick. It sucks. And I don't mean just a little sick I mean hardcore sick to the point I missed a midterm today because I knew if I tried to walk to the building I would more then likely colapse in the street, which would have then been even worse since there was a red sox parade down that street today.

That brings up the other 2 subjects I was going to mention next. So yes it's midterm week which is bad enough when you aren't really freakin sick but is made worse by being sick. So far for mid terms I've had to do a singing test a dictation test a Reason project and a Finale project. I missed a brazilian perc playing test which involves like 7 instruments then i still have 2 Garage Band projects 2 writen tests a research paper and another playing test. I'm going to die! See my plan was originally to do all those projects this weekend, problem I was so sick this weekend I barely got the Reason and Finale ones done for my MTech class that was Monday.

Ok topic 3: World series is over. I'm ummed the Rockies got swept...There were people mobing the street infront of my dorm though! I'm going to try to put up pictures that are from my friends dorm window it was pretty sweet.

those are all right infront of the building the first one I can acutally pick out kids from my school chillin on both sides of the police line there.

Ok so pics stolen from my friends facebook:

Red Sox just got into the World Series and Fenway is just down the street from me. I could actually hear the crowed cheering from my room. It's crazy both the Rockies and the Red Sox inthe World Series!!!!!!!!!Fuck yeah!!!!!

I'm eatting whoppers with chop sticks.

This weekend has been absolutly great I wish it wasn't over already. Hopefully this week will go well enough. I'm kind of excited Marla wants me to come play marimba in a latin rock band shes putting together it's gonna be sweet. In fact today alone i've been asked to play in multiple bands kinda crazy.

I had so much more to say...damn...oh well...guess it wasn't that important.

First off good job Regiment! Wish I could have been there, but thank you soooooooo much Elise for calling me so I could at least listen that was awesome you all rock!

Good rule to remember it's a good night when you get in and it's daylight again. Yeah so it's 7am here and I just got back to the dorm. It was cool I met a lot of cool people and better yet I was not the 1st out in 10 fingers!!!!! Haha yeah that was funny. We just chilled really for like 8+hours in a one room apartment. Watched transformers played cards and 10 fingers and dare (like truth or dare without the truth) and then I ended up at dunkin doughnuts with Marla and Camilo at like 630 this morning. It was good times and I think Jose is still asleep over at Johns. That is the most chill time I've had since I got here for sure. Though after 10 fingers and finding out I've never ben drunk that is their new goal. Luckally I know even if I get drunk with them nothing bad will happen. The only not amazing part about tonight was the fact that I don't speak fluent Spanish because I was hanging out ith mostly mexicans but like it totally didn't matter because even with the language barriers where we all spoke at least some english and most spoke some spanish it worked out really well. I'd have to say that's the best night I've had since I've been in Boston which is funny because it was really an uneventful night but that's nice too.

Hmm maybe I should go to bed...But I have coffee...and I'm really not tired...Oh well.

Random exciting news!!!!! A Chipotle just opened here!!!!! And by here I mean Davis Sq but still it's better then none and I'm totally psyched to go!

I ran today. It was both good and bad. The bad part is how my knee is now but it was already acting up earlier in the week so it's no big deal. The good part though is how easy it is to run here at sea level compared to in Colorado. I hadn't noticed a difference in the air untill I ran. I went almost a mile today and I wasn't winded the only reason I had to stop was my knee. I wasn't even breathing through my mouth at the end of my run! That was cool.

I have a lot on my mind, but I don't really know how to explain it or put it into words which is why I can't get them off my mind.

I think I am going to work for a literary magazine Berklee is starting.

I want to know where I stand in peoples eyes here. I'm really unsure of how I come across to some people. Some though I know how I come across. My private teacher thinks I'm an idiot, my harmony teacher thinks I'm a slacker but I'm doing well in his class so bummer for him, my english teacher seems to like me alright, same with year training teacher. I guess the teachers here are a little easier to read, I won't write all of them out since it's a lot (that was about half of them). It's the other students here that are harder to find where I stand. I think right now I have a ton of aquantiances but not a lot of strong friendships at this point. But I'll just see how that goes.

Things with my rommates still aren't the greatest though I think this weekend will be alright. Kristen and I are getting along very well sicne Ashley went home again it's just kinda easier we kinda finally started to learn new things about each other. I guess it will be alright.

I don't even know what I'm writing anymore really it's just rambelings but typing is feeling very relaxing right now so I'm just sort of going with it and am going to keep typing.

I have decided I want to learn more about writing music. Well maybe not so much "learn more" but more so find my creative side more so that I actually have ideas to write out. I like the idea of writing my own music, I just don't know how to get my thoughts into the notes out and on to a page or into a midi file or just simply be able to play something on the spot without really having to sit there and think about it. But I think it is something I can learn, I just need to work on it.

Mid terms are coming up, and I'm starting to freak out about them. I'm really worried about my Brazilian Percussion Lab I still feel totally in over my head in that class. Oh well...I just need to pass and keep my gpa high enough to keep my scholorship. I can do that I think. Well I hope. I'm also worried about my jury even though that's still a ways off, I'm still having some trouble with my teacher and I'm affraid it is going to make this all a lot harder then it should be, hopefully not though...

I guess that's all I really have to say right now. Other then just that if I end up doing with magazine thing I am going to also start doing some writing on my own and on things I feel should be writen about. I'll probably post some here I'd love some feed back.

it's funny I come to an all music school and not only do I get music but I've startedd drawing and now I'm going to try to get into doing some writing. Crazy!